From Surviving to Sound Sessions: How Music Helped Me Find Myself Again

By Lachy Hartup.

Music has always been a huge outlet for me. I was lucky enough to grow up surrounded by music and it stuck, in the best way possible. My Grandpa, a guitarist, exposed me to all kinds of music from a young age.

Then later my step Dad shared his passion and talent with us daily. Part of the Melbourne metal scene, I was lucky enough to spend time with some absolute legends my step Dad simply calls his mates.

These men have shaped my love of music, and the respect I hold for them is lifelong. I looked up to them growing up and still do today. Not just because of the musicians they are, but because of the people they are. The way they carried themselves, supported their mates, loved their families, and stayed true to who they were left a lasting impact on me.

To this day, they are the kind of men I aspire to be like - as musicians, as friends, as fathers, and as partners.

There was a time in my life where I genuinely did not think I would survive what was happening inside my own head.

I was living with intense hearing voices experiences - voices that were derogatory, commanding, relentless, and at times absolutely terrifying. It felt like I was constantly under attack. Every day became a battle just to stay alive while these voices repeatedly reinforced the belief that I was not worthy of life.

I remember desperately wishing there was a way to make them stop, even if only for a short time. Just enough respite to breathe.

Over the years, medication after medication was trialled until I was eventually diagnosed with treatment-resistant schizophrenia. While some medications helped in certain ways, the side effects often felt just as difficult as the voices themselves.

Eventually, everything became numb. What followed was severe depression, emotional shutdown, isolation, and long periods under supervision and suicide watch while my family tried to hold me - and themselves - together.

During those years, music became one of the few things that could cut through the chaos.

Headphones were almost permanently on. Music was not a cure, but it became a distraction, an outlet, and sometimes the only thing that could interrupt the constant noise in my head. Metal music especially resonated with me. The intensity, the lyrics, the emotion - it felt like someone out there understood what I was experiencing.

As time passed and recovery slowly began to emerge, things started changing. The voices gradually softened. Their volume turned down just enough for me to begin reconnecting with parts of myself I thought I had lost forever.

That was when I picked the drumsticks back up.

What started as simply playing again quickly became something much bigger. Full ADHD hyperfocus kicked in and I spent hours every day drumming. At the time, I did not fully understand the impact it was having on my mental health. Looking back now, I can clearly see how therapeutic it became.

Drumming gave me structure. Focus. Release. Purpose.

It gave me something to channel energy, emotion, frustration, and pain into.

Around that same time, I unexpectedly ran into an old friend at the supermarket where I was working. Years earlier we had tried starting a band together. One conversation led to another, and before long we had formed another band.

For years I had isolated myself from people. I withdrew from friendships, struggled to leave the house because of paranoia, and genuinely believed I was not worthy of connection or support.

That band changed so much for me.

Those weekly band practices have become therapy without even realising it. Music created connection again. It gave me belonging, routine, expression, and people who now hold a very special place in my life.

Today, I have the opportunity to turn that lived experience into something meaningful for others.

That is exactly why I am so excited to launch Sound Sessions at the Identity Before Diagnosis Community Hub.

Sound Sessions is not about being perfect at music. It is not about needing experience or talent. It is about expression, connection, confidence, creativity, and finding safe ways to channel emotions and energy.

Whether someone wants to learn an instrument, jam casually, explore music for emotional release, or simply be around others in a safe and welcoming environment - this space is for them.

For me personally, being able to use my passion for purpose and turn pain into purpose is one of the most fulfilling things I have ever experienced.

Music helped me reconnect with identity beyond diagnosis.

Now I hope Sound Sessions can help others do the same.

🎵 Sound Sessions with Lachy now running at the Identity Before Diagnosis Community Hub.